Part 2 HERE
The unofficial *wink wink* book about Meghan and Harry – “Finding Freedom” -is finally out. Of course, this book is as unofficial as I’m a pakistani-wakandan UFO, i.e., not really. The book, as expected, is dull and pointless: however, the story has taken an interesting twist.
Written by a pro-LGBT activist, Omid Scobie, – who according to a few sources is Marcus Anderson ex-boyfriend, Mr. Anderson being the man who allegedly set up Meghan and Harry together – and Carolyn Durant – an uninteresting journalist that almost didn’t take part to the promotion of the book- “Finding Freedom” is almost certainly a command piece with Meghan as a shadow writer.
This is not even such a secret. An authors’ note contained in the back of the book reads: ‘We have spoken with close friends of Harry and Meghan, royal aides and palace staff (past and present), the charities and organisations they have built long-lasting relationships with and, when appropriate, the couple themselves.’
Both authors regularly publish confidential information that only insiders could obtain, such as the details of Meghan legal attack against The Mail (libel actions are not public in the discovery phase in England), or that the letter she sent to her father would be released to the press. Mr. Scobie Twitter is actually the first source of Meghan (lel) news. However, exactly as one can expect from a book written by Meghan, the book is utter crap, and from every single point of view.
First of all, the book delivers details that Meghan should have kept for herself. For instance, we learn that : ” Meghan, when filming her legal TV drama Suits in Toronto, would ‘occasionally set up a paparazzi photo here and there or let info slip out to the Press’. ” A lot of previously unknown or discredited fact are now acknowledged as true. Extraordinary personal details littered throughout include particulars of the moment the Meghan confessed she wrote her estranged father Thomas Markle one final message while on FaceTime in a bathtub.
Secondly, the book is also about how racist and basically an Austrian Chancellor is the royal family. According to Scobie himself, “”They had no choice other than to leave.”
Of course, for such a shitty book, a shitstorm of biblical size follows:
The Star: “Harry and Meghan are not [just] renegades – they just seem lost. If the goal of the authors was to champion the couple as a modern force capable of remaking the royal family, a power duo inclined to renovate The House of Windsor, the new L.A. addition seems to be built on a shaky foundation.”
The Independent: “temper tantrum” ” The Queen has previously wished Harry and Meghan luck “to start building a happy and peaceful new life”. The way we can all do this is to put down Finding Freedom and find ourselves a nice novel instead.”
Pier Morgans, British Lefty in the Mail (reading excerpts): ‘A pair of appallingly bitter, staggeringly self-obsessed, utterly deluded, and woefully tone-deaf laughing stocks” “Stung by a series of perceived slights by other members of the royal family and palace courtiers, and repeated media criticism of hypocrisy based on their undeniably hypocritical behaviour, they began to see this gilded life of unimaginable luxury and privilege as a ‘prison,'”
So here’s an artistic depiction of what probably happened at Meghan and Harry House after the book release.
“Sue Scobie and Durand,” screams Meghan like a banshee. “I was supposed to get everyone’s sympathy, but they’re all laughing at meeeee! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
Strange whines, coughs, sniffs and snickers can be heard through the bathroom door.
“Harry! Are you going to come out of that bathroom and listen to me?” Meghan taps a staccato beat with her long foot, hand on hip.
“Yes dear,” says Harry. “Of course dear, we’ll sue everyone who’s mean to you. I’ll put it on the list.”
“Just be sure you do, and I’m going to start docking your pay for every minute you stay in that bathroom gargling or whatever you’re doing. Now, get me avocado on toast while Markus gives me a foot rub. I’m sooooooo stressed.”
“It’s okay Archie, I promise we’ll get out of here, but we’ll never fit down the plughole.”
I think the answer is yes, she will definitely want to sue them, or hang, draw and quarter them, whichever is simpler or costs less.
And with this article we end of our series of the Shitty story of Meghan and Harry, I hope you had fun reading it.